I've always taken safety for granted. As a child, I remember when two convenience store clerks in GC were murdered in the middle of the night, and how absolutely horrified I was that anyone would do such a thing. But, in general, I've gone about my life, my day-to-day activities, and felt fairly safe.
That is changing. I think, for all of us, that changed a bit with September 11th. We realized that we could just leave the house, go to work, and that could potentially be it. I know that none of us knows the day or hour we will die, that we could leave for work tomorrow and get hit by a bus. I'm not scared of being dead, but the process of dying is another story.
There were two shootings today in this area. One at a YWAM campus in Arvada and another at New Life Church in Colorado Springs. Combine that with the shootings in Omaha this past week, and I find myself afraid. Afraid to be at work after dark. Afraid for Joe to go to work. Afraid for my family and friends all over the place, who are simply completing daily tasks like shopping and going to church. That's all these people were doing, and for some of them, it was the last thing they did.
I don't want to be afraid. I don't want fear to rule. I keep thinking, "There is no fear in love...and perfect love drives out fear." I want to be so overtaken by God's love that I'm not afraid. I don't want fear to win. So, I've taken Joe to work, and worked tonight until after dark. I've enjoyed my day. But it has been a fight against the fear all the way.
The other thing I keep thinking about is that it is all so evil. And I fear the evil in it, all around us. Even though I know that Jesus defeated all that is evil and Satan himself, I still find myself afraid. My faith is weak in this area. That isn't a new revelation, but it's a renewed one.
I'd love to hear thoughts about this. How do we keep living without thinking about the "what-ifs?"
