The Past Few Days

Last night I got the news that my Capstone Proposal has been rejected unless I do some serious revisions. My Capstone is my big project, kind of like a thesis, except my plan was to do a creative project. Except my advisor recommended some changes. Those changes led to a proposal that I wasn't tremendously excited about and ultimately got turned down. Now, I really like my advisor, but I am very frustrated right now. I got his email at 7:30 last night. Tomorrow the university closes down until January 2, and my proposal has to be accepted by January 5th to do my project next quarter. It takes one to two weeks to get a proposal approved. You see the problems inherent in this dilemma. I do have another class to take, so I am thinking of doing that next quarter and my Capstone in the Spring. That will work, I think. Spring is just a crazy time at work, so I was trying to avoid doing that. Also, I was told today that if I want to do a Creative Capstone, I should consider changing advisors. What's a girl to do to solve a problem like this on Christmas Eve? I think this girl is going to ignore it until at least after Christmas Day.

Yesterday I finished my shopping, and while I was at the mall I had one of those experiences that is small, but changes you, and reminds you that hesitation is stupid. A man in a wheelchair was waiting to be helped at the Information Desk, and the women behind the counter kept ignoring him. Whether this was on purpose or due to the fact that they couldn't see him over the counter, I don't know. I knew just by watching him that he was frustrated, so I stepped back and waited to see if they helped him. If they didn't, I was going to ask the man if I could help him get their attention. Before I could do that, another person walked up and was helped, even though this man had been waiting. The man then yelled an expletive very loudly and motored away. The perfectly put-together women looked shocked, but not in the, "oh, that poor man, we didn't see him" way, but in the "oh, my what a disgusting man with no manners" sort of way. I should have just acted, instead of hesitating, and it left me with an icky feeling the rest of the day.

Joe is at work, and we leave as soon as he finishes, at 4:00. I'm ready to be home, to be comfortable, to be myself. Why is it so hard to keep track of ourselves and who we are?